Life is a Work in Progress

Singing has been a big part of my life. I started singing when I was in kindergarten. I was in this vocal group with my 4 other friends and I don’t remember exactly if it was a competition but we did travel to another city to perform Sunday school songs at a church. My choir days continued when I was in primary school. I joined the school choir and, at some point, the school music group where I played the xylophone. I found great joy in singing as a kid, and I feel like I could express myself better through a song, and my parents decided to make me take some vocal lessons. As much as I enjoyed it in primary school, I didn’t really want to pursue it during middle school and high school. Being exposed to various other interests didn’t really help the case either.

Do you know that feeling when you go to an all you can eat restaurant and there is just so much food from the menu that you would love to try? I think that’s a way to sum up how I feel about things I’m interested in almost all the time. I love trying new things out. It’s like going to a newly opened ice cream shop which has new flavours that’s so popular everyone keeps recommending it to you, so you decided to try it for yourself. When it comes to discovering your interests and passion, I think it’s all about trial and error. You try to do things you think you can do well and see whether it’s really for you or not, and if you feel like it’s no longer for you, then you can find other things to enjoy.

I’ve tried various things: writing, painting and drawing, theatre, etc., but so far nothing really stayed with me other than writing and theatre. Writing has been my way to cope with things, and I’ve found passion in playing with words and telling a story from different perspectives. Perhaps it was why I decided to study psychology in university. Human behaviour is very fascinating. There are so many things that shape one person into the way they are today, such as past experiences, trauma, cultural backgrounds, and so on. For years I thought I was done with singing in a choir, until I was in university. I thought it was so cool just like in the movies, so I decided to audition for a spot as a Soprano, and fortunately I got in. That was when I started to think to myself that ‘maybe this is where I belong.’

They said that when you’re talented, you are so blessed you can do anything. But the truth is talents can only do so much. It takes action and hard work to be really good at something. You don’t become a very good singer overnight. There are steps that you should take, a process that you have to go through—a training, a lesson learned, hours of practice. I do regret not really taking the opportunity to sing in a choir seriously, because then I realised that I was so out of practice and I found it rather difficult to keep up. Turns out, the biggest obstacle may come from within.

Earlier this year, I decided to be more active on my YouTube channel. I made a goal to post at least three times a month. So far, my channel has grown slowly but steadily. To help me decide what I want to create or what I want to do next, I have this small book where I list all of my creative thoughts and content ideas that I can try to work on. The competition is definitely tough. Sometimes, even the most talented people don’t get the proper recognition that they deserve. But it’s a learning process and I realise that I still have a lot to learn. That’s why I try to find as many opportunities where I can learn more about this stuff. 

As I’ve mentioned, singing has probably been the biggest part of my life. Before the pandemic, some of my closest friends and I often did some karaoke together, mostly to celebrate the last day of exam weeks. We had a lot of fun, especially with the camaraderie and the shared hobbies and interests that we all have. During the quarantine, my interest in watercolour painting was rekindled. At first I did it to cope with quarantine and the boredom, but I actually found great joy in playing with colours, and so far I feel nothing but its great impact on my mental health.

Here’s one of the paintings that I did during the quarantine:

I would love to try to learn to draw digitally someday. I think what makes it so interesting is that you can do no wrong with digital drawing and it seems easier if you want to have it posted online with much better quality. I also would love to visit new places and learn more foreign languages. The world is so vast, and it is waiting to be explored. Who knows that maybe someday I can find a place I can call home that's far away from home.

Growing up, I have so many role models that I look up to, but today, I would like to mention one inspiring person: Rafael Nadal, a Spanish tennis player. I enjoy watching tennis, and I’ve been following Rafa and being a fan of his tennis for six years now, and never once have I not been impressed by his character. He has always been so humble and graceful no matter if he loses or wins, on and off the court, and to me he has a champion mentality and good sportsmanship, always looking out for the people around him, even during a match. Recently, he broke his own record and became the first male tennis player to win 22 Grand Slam titles. He has taught me to never quit and to not dwell on the ‘what ifs’ because the what ifs never happened. What matters is to stay in the present and look ahead. In terms of mentality and work ethics, I look up to him a lot. 

I always work with one goal; to improve as a player and as a person.

This quote from Rafa gives me something to think about. Often we have so many goals in mind, and how we want to achieve those, and if we don't succeed in doing so it means we’re a failure, but that’s not the case. It’s all about progress, how we try to improve ourselves to be better than before. Big or small, progress is progress, and we are the ones who decide what kind of person we want to improve as.

The pandemic has taught me a lot of new things. It may be a time full of uncertainty, but there’s always a silver lining. I did some self reflection, I tried to get to know myself better, and I think one of the things I’m really proud of is finally being comfortable in my own skin. It was not an easy journey, but surely it was an interesting one. Self acceptance helps to build confidence and to improve how you present yourself, and it’s definitely a lesson learned. Every emotion is valid, and every experience counts. This has been a wonderful journey so far and I don’t plan to quit any time soon.

During this time I also met many new people who share the same interests as me. I joined this amazing fan project over a year ago run by a bunch of wonderful and talented people, and I did contribute as a writer and I did sing in a small part of it as Anna. (Head to this link to watch the video)

Taking everything into consideration, there’s one question to ponder: do I still want to do this? Yes, I do. I still want to do this.

To some people, it may sound unrealistic, but who knows what the future will bring? Right now, I will do what I enjoy doing as much as I can, try to stick to my missions, and see where it’s taking me. Besides, we will never know if we don’t try, right?

Life is a work in progress, and the journey has yet to come to an end.